Slowpoke Humorist Gifts

'A 3-speed transmission gives me speeds of slow, slower and slowest'

"The Eggsorcist"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

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Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

Snail Pattern Balding.

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

'It's a slow trap.'

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

'Listen up, you ghoul fools, at midnight the mummy takes off the wrappings! Heh heh - just kidding folks, but seriously...'

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

'Sorry son, I bought you an ice-cream at the corner shop, but it melted on the way home...'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

'Let him go. We'll catch him in the backstretch. Hippos can run faster than humans, but only in short bursts.'

Vampire Family Photos...

'Hi ? I'm from the Government, and I'm here to help you.'

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

"Month-end report due by month end, ha ha ha ha ha."

"Sir, I'm afraid there's no easy way to say this..."

'You need to start using a fabric softener.'

"RUN!"

"Is that permanent?"

'Violin in the shape of a nude.'

"Does that mean trick or treaters too?"

Convergent Fauna

Snail Pattern Balding.

"This was the best school day of the week!"

"We suck at this."

Racers' Gate.