Slowpoke Enthusiast Gifts

"Don't even bother – we missed the deadline to finish our March Madness brackets again."

"Hold your hat ! Here we go!"

"We suck at this."

'Hey buddy, want to race me?'

Snail Pattern Balding.

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Snail Pattern Balding.

'It's a slow trap.'

Tortoise and the Hare

Snail slow to react to an ant's joke.

"RUN!"

"Month-end report due by month end, ha ha ha ha ha."

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

'If you were in such a hurry why did you order the snails?'

What's the difference between fast food and slow food?

Tai Chi video - can you slow it down, it's still too fast!

'A 3-speed transmission gives me speeds of slow, slower and slowest'

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

"Anyone home?"

Speed Dating: Hurry up, you old git!

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

Slow food.

"My husband says I'm a procrastinator. I plan to look it up on day."

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

'I thought he'd never leave!'

"I've always worked from home."

Nobody thinks you're funny

'Better slow it down a bit.'

"I am running!"

'Thanks for the best birthday gift I ever got...a slow cooker.'

'On your mark...'

I'd join you, but this dratted self-timer only waits for ten seconds!