Slowpoke Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Don't even bother – we missed the deadline to finish our March Madness brackets again."

"Hold your hat ! Here we go!"

"We suck at this."

'Hey buddy, want to race me?'

Snail Pattern Balding.

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Snail Pattern Balding.

'It's a slow trap.'

Tortoise and the Hare

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

'If you were in such a hurry why did you order the snails?'

What's the difference between fast food and slow food?

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

"Month-end report due by month end, ha ha ha ha ha."

"RUN!"

Tai Chi video - can you slow it down, it's still too fast!

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

Slow food.

'A 3-speed transmission gives me speeds of slow, slower and slowest'

Speed Dating: Hurry up, you old git!

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

"Anyone home?"

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

"My husband says I'm a procrastinator. I plan to look it up on day."

"I've always worked from home."

'I thought he'd never leave!'

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

'Better slow it down a bit.'

Nobody thinks you're funny

"I am running!"

'Thanks for the best birthday gift I ever got...a slow cooker.'

"I put the roast in the slow cooker. It'll be ready next Thursday."

"Yes, but am I the biggest dick you've ever met?"

"Sorry to pull you over, but do you realize how fast you weren't going?"