Slow Food Devotee Gifts

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

Local food for local consumption

"Expense account or regular?"

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

Slow food restaurant

'Ethical farm - none of our produce goes to fast food outlets'.

"Waiter! There's a dangling participle in my alphabet soup!"

"I can recommend the snails, if you don't mind waiting."

Tortoise and the Hare

"I cook everything with an alternative energy source, so it may take a while."

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

What's the difference between fast food and slow food?

'If you were in such a hurry why did you order the snails?'

''Usually drunk with pizza.' Hey, so am I!'

Samosas

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

I'm a long order cook.

Slow food.

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"Would you like a cup of drip coffee while you wait for your pour over?"

'Well, if you're in such a hurry, why did you order snails?'

'Better slow it down a bit.'

'Thanks for the best birthday gift I ever got...a slow cooker.'

"I put the roast in the slow cooker. It'll be ready next Thursday."

"Mmmm... whatever you have in the slow cooker smells really good."

"It's bird's nest soup rare!"

'Of course your starter is taking a long time! Snails are notoriously slow movers.'

"That's made with absolutely no preservatives, so I'd eat it in the next three hours."

"Tonight's menu comes on ermine-white period-style paper, 260g/m2, hand-written in iron gall ink, available to take home for a discretionary supplement of £12.50."

'Very good choice of wine sir. There's a 400 percent mark up on that one.'