Slop Gourmand T-Shirts

"I was going to go to the other slop trough, but the music's always too loud."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

Just one more choccy...

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'What goes with leftovers?' 'I have a bottle of dregs here someplace.'

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

Christmas was the one time of year when Roger could take advantage of working in the genetic research laboratory.

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

Dijon Vu

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

"Cemetery Pie"

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

Capturing a Cook

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

God Cooks Up Evolution

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"