Gum Gourmand T-Shirts

"Chewing gum at a business meeting, Clara? I trust you brought enough to share."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

Just one more choccy...

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'Are you ready for dessert?'

'Your fish dinner should be along shortly. Frank just had a nibble.'

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

Dijon Vu

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

"Table number five have just eaten their table decoration!"

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

God Cooks Up Evolution

Capturing a Cook

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

Coffee, toast and some of my special homemade turkey marmalade!

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

You've Got Mail

He didn't even remember signing up for the taste test.

"I'm done - I only jog far enough to burn off the cheesecake I had for breakfast."