Genetic Gourmand T-Shirts

'People with large families tend to favor our genetically engineered birds... '

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten our genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

Just one more choccy...

A London gent abroad

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

O'Malley's Pub. Special: Cloned Beef and Cabbage. Is nothing sacred anymore?

'Are you ready for dessert?'

Dijon Vu

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"I eat the genetically modified flounder all the time and it's delicious."

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

"Table number five have just eaten their table decoration!"

Capturing a Cook

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

'My compliments to your bioengineer.'

'Chefs, the secret ingredient for tonight's competition is - wing of bat!'

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'