Gum Gourmand Gifts

"Chewing gum at a business meeting, Clara? I trust you brought enough to share."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

Just one more choccy...

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'Your fish dinner should be along shortly. Frank just had a nibble.'

'Are you ready for dessert?'

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

Dijon Vu

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

"He was going to buy. Why'd you tell him it was made with real gingerbread?"

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

God Cooks Up Evolution

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

"Table number five have just eaten their table decoration!"

Capturing a Cook

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

You've Got Mail

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

Coffee, toast and some of my special homemade turkey marmalade!

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

Ned Thompson, unpretentious wine taster.

He didn't even remember signing up for the taste test.