Gourmand Gifts

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"If you'll excuse me, my adventurous palate is at constant war with my delicate ecosystem of gut bacteria."

Capturing a Cook

'Thank you - that was delicious.'

'Enjoy? Don't tell me what to do.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Dijon Vu

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

Just one more choccy...

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'Are you ready for dessert?'

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

"Table number five have just eaten their table decoration!"

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

God Cooks Up Evolution

"Cemetery Pie"

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

Coffee, toast and some of my special homemade turkey marmalade!

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

Ned Thompson, unpretentious wine taster.

"I'm done - I only jog far enough to burn off the cheesecake I had for breakfast."

'Bad news... all our tests came back with you as delicious.'