Kitchen Gourmand Gifts

'Hey, we're getting a twheat.'

The wonderful world of cheese.

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

Just one more choccy...

Sushi Train Spotters

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

The eye of newt - Is it gluten-free?

"Call this cordon bleu?"

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

'Are you ready for dessert?'

Dijon Vu

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

"Table number five have just eaten their table decoration!"

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

The four basic food groups: Dry, Moist, Biscuit, Bone.

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

Capturing a Cook

'It seems the environment people, the health department and the food and drug administration all have reservations about his place.'

Endangered Entrees

'While Mom's away Dad will be feeding us from the four major food groups: Canned, Frozen, Fast and Junk.'

"And now it's gluten free!"

Coffee, toast and some of my special homemade turkey marmalade!

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.