Vegetarian Gourmand Gifts

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

The wonderful world of cheese.

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Just one more choccy...

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

A London gent abroad

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"Obviously, sir, it's a very discerning, vegetarian fly."

'Are you ready for dessert?'

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

Dijon Vu

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

Capturing a Cook

"Table number five have just eaten their table decoration!"

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

Endangered Entrees

'It seems the environment people, the health department and the food and drug administration all have reservations about his place.'

The four basic food groups: Dry, Moist, Biscuit, Bone.

"I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my worldview."

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

'Next time YOU pronounce it!'

'Tom Jones is still my favorite movie. It has the most explicit eating.'

'Creme Vichyssoise?' 'I'll have a cheese roll.'

Birthday cakes from around the world