Patient Gourmand Gifts

'If you're in a hurry, why did you order the snails?'

The wonderful world of cheese.

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Just one more choccy...

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

'Are you ready for dessert?'

Dijon Vu

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

Capturing a Cook

"I'd like seconds!"

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

God Cooks Up Evolution

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

You've Got Mail

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

Coffee, toast and some of my special homemade turkey marmalade!

He didn't even remember signing up for the taste test.

"I'm done - I only jog far enough to burn off the cheesecake I had for breakfast."

"It's not just compared to the table, damn it. This is a small portion."

'Tom Jones is still my favorite movie. It has the most explicit eating.'