Grape Gourmand T-Shirts

Ned Thompson, unpretentious wine taster.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Y'know, these grapes aren't a patch on the ones I brought you last time!"

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

"They're good-luck foods...for winning!!"

The wonderful world of cheese.

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Tarzan of the Grapes.

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Just one more choccy...

The eye of newt - Is it gluten-free?

A London gent abroad

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

'Your fish dinner should be along shortly. Frank just had a nibble.'

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

Dijon Vu

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

God Cooks Up Evolution

"Table number five have just eaten their table decoration!"

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

Capturing a Cook

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."