Grateful Gourmand T-Shirts

'We thank you for this food, but we wish you gave us enough sense to avoid all this cholesterol, salt and all these additives.'

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Just one more choccy...

"Here's your dessert. A guilt counselor iss standing by to help you once you calculate how many calories you've consumed."

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

A London gent abroad

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

Dijon Vu

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

Christmas was the one time of year when Roger could take advantage of working in the genetic research laboratory.

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

'No, that is not a balanced diet.'

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

Capturing a Cook

God Cooks Up Evolution

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

"Cemetery Pie"