Heavenly Gourmand T-Shirts

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

The wonderful world of cheese.

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

Just one more choccy...

A London gent abroad

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"It's fondue night!"

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

Christmas was the one time of year when Roger could take advantage of working in the genetic research laboratory.

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

God Cooks Up Evolution

'Chefs, the secret ingredient for tonight's competition is - wing of bat!'

The Master chef had produced his masterpiece... a monster Danish pastry!

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

"Cemetery Pie"

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

Too full after after Christmas dinner!

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

"I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my worldview."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

"What do you mean, 'No hot pastrami'? What kind of heaven do you call this?"

'Next time YOU pronounce it!'

'I'm actually a soy milky way.'