Graceful Gourmand T-Shirts

'Yes, I think God still would want you to say grace for asparagus and carrots.'

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Party Animals.

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

Just one more choccy...

A London gent abroad

"Here's your dessert. A guilt counselor iss standing by to help you once you calculate how many calories you've consumed."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

Dijon Vu

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

'No, that is not a balanced diet.'

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

Capturing a Cook

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

Young child saying grace

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

God Cooks Up Evolution

"Cemetery Pie"