Graceful Gourmand Gifts

'Yes, I think God still would want you to say grace for asparagus and carrots.'

The wonderful world of cheese.

Party Animals.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Just one more choccy...

"Here's your dessert. A guilt counselor iss standing by to help you once you calculate how many calories you've consumed."

A London gent abroad

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

'No, that is not a balanced diet.'

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

Dijon Vu

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

Capturing a Cook

God Cooks Up Evolution

"Cemetery Pie"

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.