Breakfast Gourmand T-Shirts

"I'm done - I only jog far enough to burn off the cheesecake I had for breakfast."

Coffee, toast and some of my special homemade turkey marmalade!

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Just one more choccy...

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'Your fish dinner should be along shortly. Frank just had a nibble.'

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

Dijon Vu

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

'It seems the environment people, the health department and the food and drug administration all have reservations about his place.'

"Table number five have just eaten their table decoration!"

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

Capturing a Cook

"I'd like seconds!"

Endangered Entrees

You've Got Mail

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

Ned Thompson, unpretentious wine taster.

He didn't even remember signing up for the taste test.

'Worms?! I'd rather have a pizza!'

Easter Eggs

"It's not just compared to the table, damn it. This is a small portion."