Oatmeal Gourmand T-Shirts

You've Got Mail

'I sent out for everything.'

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

Just one more choccy...

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

The eye of newt - Is it gluten-free?

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'Your fish dinner should be along shortly. Frank just had a nibble.'

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

Dijon Vu

'What goes with leftovers?' 'I have a bottle of dregs here someplace.'

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

Capturing a Cook

God Cooks Up Evolution

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

"I'd like seconds!"

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

Coffee, toast and some of my special homemade turkey marmalade!

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

"And now it's gluten free!"

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."