Slop Gourmand Gifts

"I was going to go to the other slop trough, but the music's always too loud."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Just one more choccy...

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

The eye of newt - Is it gluten-free?

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

Christmas was the one time of year when Roger could take advantage of working in the genetic research laboratory.

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

'What goes with leftovers?' 'I have a bottle of dregs here someplace.'

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

Dijon Vu

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

"Cemetery Pie"

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

God Cooks Up Evolution

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

Capturing a Cook

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"