Slime Aficionado Gifts

"You're Slime, right?"

Tartine

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Rage.

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

Love is when you watch television together.

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Flying sauces.

"I said slime."

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

'What great fall blooms. These flowers make yummy pumpkin pie spice!'

"Goal!"

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

Sheltering in place.

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.