Sleepy Reader Gifts

'Don't wait up - I'll probably doze off in the book bunker.'

The Bookworm

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

"Did the cow that jumped over the moon have NASA funding?"

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

This coffee can keep you up

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

"It says here we should get a lodger."

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

"Chapter three: Homo erectus and the practical use of bones..."

"How can back to back be your favourite position?"

A shark is reading a book entitled 'Swimming with the lawyers'.

'The wife has me on a strict 'O Negative' diet.'

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

'Was it good for you?' 'I haven't finished yet!'

"Well, the census results are out, but a footnote says that the sheep count is probably inaccurate as the auditors often found themselves getting drowsy..."

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

"He's in first grade. He'll get to Zs."

The Reclusive Flying Hell Rat

"It's a terrible hiccup you got there. . . let me help you.. I made a dent in the car today!"

'I'm a vestal virgin.'

The Invention of Reading in Bed.

"How's your beer coming, Eddie?"

Man using light to shield his eyes.

"Can I borrow a book about me?"

Fifty Shades of Yellow

'An owl and a pussycat? -- Is that even legal?'

"It's a helmet cam. This way I won't miss out on anything if I fall asleep."