Sleepy Reader Gifts

'Don't wait up - I'll probably doze off in the book bunker.'

The Bookworm

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"Did the cow that jumped over the moon have NASA funding?"

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

This coffee can keep you up

"Chapter three: Homo erectus and the practical use of bones..."

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

"How can back to back be your favourite position?"

"It says here we should get a lodger."

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

A shark is reading a book entitled 'Swimming with the lawyers'.

'The wife has me on a strict 'O Negative' diet.'

'Was it good for you?' 'I haven't finished yet!'

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

"Well, the census results are out, but a footnote says that the sheep count is probably inaccurate as the auditors often found themselves getting drowsy..."

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

"He's in first grade. He'll get to Zs."

"It's a terrible hiccup you got there. . . let me help you.. I made a dent in the car today!"

Fifty Shades of Yellow

"Can I borrow a book about me?"

The Invention of Reading in Bed.

The Reclusive Flying Hell Rat

"How's your beer coming, Eddie?"

Man using light to shield his eyes.

'I'm a vestal virgin.'

'An owl and a pussycat? -- Is that even legal?'

"It's a helmet cam. This way I won't miss out on anything if I fall asleep."