Sleepwalking Humorist Gifts

Please tell me you were sleepswimming again.

The downside of the cupcake bed.

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

"Today is my second birthday and I wanted to let you know that I intend to take full advantage of my terrible twos!"

'I told you not to yawn near the toaster.'

'Wake up! You're kissing the sheet again...'

'It's your turn, dear.'

'I bought a treadmill, so if he sleepwalks again I know where he is.'

'It's these sleeper terrorists, doctor. They're keeping me awake at night.'

"What time should we wake him for breakfast?"

'Peel is sleeping badly.' - 'He seems very bright.' - 'Yes.' - 'Bright babies often sleep badly.' - 'Waaaaah!' - 'I want a thick baby.' - 'Zzzzzzz'

“Is the light bothering you, dear?”

'It's getting worse, Doctor - Now he's SLEEP-drinking!'

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

'You been sleep walking again?'

A severe case of getting up on the wrong side of bed...

Toddler in the bed: a journey

"Just go already!" "One could scarcely desire more delightful conditions for a nocturnal ramble..."

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

"Watch out if I doze off, I sleep probe."

Your fingers' worst nightmares

Sleep walking golfer

"Wake up Mrs. Jones. You're sleep shopping again."

'You say you lost your last three jobs because of oversleeping?'

Atlas Sleeps on the Job.

Things my cat says at 3 am

'I've got to do something about my insomnia. I didn't sleep a wink at work today.'

I can't sleep, tell me about your day.

"Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake... Well, that would be pretty rotten thing to do, God, seeing as I'm only eight years old."

"A child is like coffee. It's easy to make, but then won't let you sleep."

Wordplay: Scrambled Egg.

"I can't remember how to fall asleep. What do you have for insomnesia?"

'Marmaduke, wake up! You're barking in your sleep again!'

"Right...morning...now what?"

"I don't know why sawing logs refers to snoring...."