Sleepless Comedian Gifts

'I've got to do something about my insomnia. I didn't sleep a wink at work today.'

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

The downside of the cupcake bed.

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

'I told you not to yawn near the toaster.'

'It's your turn, dear.'

'How can you sleep at night?'

'Peel is sleeping badly.' - 'He seems very bright.' - 'Yes.' - 'Bright babies often sleep badly.' - 'Waaaaah!' - 'I want a thick baby.' - 'Zzzzzzz'

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

School of mime has notice on board: 'No talking in class.'

'It's these sleeper terrorists, doctor. They're keeping me awake at night.'

"What time should we wake him for breakfast?"

"Oh Oh . . . Looks like our five o'clock wake up call is here!"

Mime Fights: 'I think you broke my jaw!"

A severe case of getting up on the wrong side of bed...

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

Toddler in the bed: a journey

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

Marcel disagreed with the judge, but it was a mute point.

Things my cat says at 3 am

'You say you lost your last three jobs because of oversleeping?'

Atlas Sleeps on the Job.

"Just go already!" "One could scarcely desire more delightful conditions for a nocturnal ramble..."

I can't sleep, tell me about your day.

Mime Club. A group of mimes learn that the first rule of Mime Club is that "YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT MIME CLUB".

"Am I to assume that your client will be taking the fifth?"

"You know what they say - 'Great mimes think alike'."

"A child is like coffee. It's easy to make, but then won't let you sleep."

Wordplay: Scrambled Egg.

"I can't remember how to fall asleep. What do you have for insomnesia?"