Sleep Strategy Analyst T-Shirts

Wake up! You're hogging all the nails again.

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"I can't decide whether to get upset and wake him up... or wait and see if it works!"

Interpretive napping

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

Center For Sleep Deprivation

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

Doctor with Teddy - "Take this. It will help you sleep."

"I'm getting paid to assist sleep research..."

'I'm sleepy all the time.'

For workers who are in need of a discreet spot to catch some Z's comes Napquest.

"Wake up, Jane! There's a giant talking squirrel at the end of your bed!"

'It's the most amazing case of rapid eye movement I've ever seen.'

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

Sleep Clinic. ZZZZZZ. We can tell a lot about somebody's sleep by the sounds they make. This subject is experiencing normal, restful sleep. YYYYYY. He's having fitful sleep because his girlfriend dumped him. MMMMMM. It looks a lot like he's having a dream about a delicious meal. BBBBBB. This gardener is having a nightmare about disturbing a hive. And what's happening here? I think he's look forward to "talk like a pirate day"! RRRRRR.

'These hibernation pills ought to do the trick.'

"I wore a wire last night to prove you really snore!"

The Dangers of Counting Sheep

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

"Testing the "I could do this job in my sleep" theory."

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

'How can you sleep at night?'

Sleep Disorder Research.

'There are four reasons for him to cry...he's hungry, he's wet, a pin is sticking him, or he wants to wake you up from a sound sleep.'

'I think I'm having an out-of-body experience.'

"The secret to my productivity is sleeping when everyone is awake."

'A cure for insomnia is a good night's sleep.'

This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.

'The teddy bear and blankie are the only sleep aids the doctor had that aren't addictive.'

'Six months ought to be enough sleep for anyone.'

'I think you went trampling in your sleep again.'

'We're making progress on my insomnia. My foot went to sleep last night.'