Sleep Strategy Analyst Gifts

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"I can't decide whether to get upset and wake him up... or wait and see if it works!"

Interpretive napping

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

Center For Sleep Deprivation

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

"I'm getting paid to assist sleep research..."

'I'm sleepy all the time.'

'These hibernation pills ought to do the trick.'

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

'It's the most amazing case of rapid eye movement I've ever seen.'

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

"I wore a wire last night to prove you really snore!"

The Dangers of Counting Sheep

"Testing the "I could do this job in my sleep" theory."

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

'How can you sleep at night?'

Sleep Disorder Research.

"The secret to my productivity is sleeping when everyone is awake."

'A cure for insomnia is a good night's sleep.'

'There are four reasons for him to cry...he's hungry, he's wet, a pin is sticking him, or he wants to wake you up from a sound sleep.'

Insomniacs Anonymous - No Snoring

'I think you went trampling in your sleep again.'

'What did you say? You suggested me to COUNT sheep to fall asleep? I thought you told me to EAT sheep...'

This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.

'We're making progress on my insomnia. My foot went to sleep last night.'

Narcolepsy in relationships.