Sleep Consultant T-Shirts

Sleep-Eez Bedding

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

'zzz sleep.'

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

Center For Sleep Deprivation

'I'm sleepy all the time.'

Mattress makers picketing in front of factory are sleepwalking.

"I'm getting paid to assist sleep research..."

"I slept funny!"

Grants & Recipients

'These hibernation pills ought to do the trick.'

'It's the most amazing case of rapid eye movement I've ever seen.'

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

"I wore a wire last night to prove you really snore!"

The Dangers of Counting Sheep

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

"I set up the sensors. He sees you when you're sleeping."

'I'm being tested for sleep apnoea this winter: Better go, see you in spring...'

'How can you sleep at night?'

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

"The secret to my productivity is sleeping when everyone is awake."

Sleep Disorder Research.

'A cure for insomnia is a good night's sleep.'