Sleep Consultant T-Shirts

Sleep-Eez Bedding

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

Center For Sleep Deprivation

'zzz sleep.'

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

Doctor with Teddy - "Take this. It will help you sleep."

Mattress makers picketing in front of factory are sleepwalking.

'I'm sleepy all the time.'

"I'm getting paid to assist sleep research..."

Grants & Recipients

"I slept funny!"

For workers who are in need of a discreet spot to catch some Z's comes Napquest.

'These hibernation pills ought to do the trick.'

'It's the most amazing case of rapid eye movement I've ever seen.'

"I wore a wire last night to prove you really snore!"

"Wake up, Jane! There's a giant talking squirrel at the end of your bed!"

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

Sleep Clinic. ZZZZZZ. We can tell a lot about somebody's sleep by the sounds they make. This subject is experiencing normal, restful sleep. YYYYYY. He's having fitful sleep because his girlfriend dumped him. MMMMMM. It looks a lot like he's having a dream about a delicious meal. BBBBBB. This gardener is having a nightmare about disturbing a hive. And what's happening here? I think he's look forward to "talk like a pirate day"! RRRRRR.

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

The Dangers of Counting Sheep

Wake up! You're hogging all the nails again.

"I set up the sensors. He sees you when you're sleeping."

'I'm being tested for sleep apnoea this winter: Better go, see you in spring...'

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

'How can you sleep at night?'

'I think I'm having an out-of-body experience.'

"The secret to my productivity is sleeping when everyone is awake."

'A cure for insomnia is a good night's sleep.'