Sleep Experts T-Shirts

"Am I doing something wrong? He won't even consider hibernating."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"You were snoring."

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

"What's with your hair?"

'It's the worst possible diagnosis a bear can receive -- sleep apnea.'

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

'zzz sleep.'

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

Center For Sleep Deprivation

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

'She let the bedbugs bite.'