Sleep Scientists T-Shirts

"Instead of roaming around in the dark, bumping into things, I stay in the cave all night with my eyes closed."

"The overthinker"

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

'zzz sleep.'

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

"We can't wake her, she's sleepwalking."

Center For Sleep Deprivation

Doctor with Teddy - "Take this. It will help you sleep."

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

'I'm sleepy all the time.'

"I'm getting paid to assist sleep research..."

"On your application, it says you have narcolepsy. What is that?"

'It's the most amazing case of rapid eye movement I've ever seen.'

"Wow, you sleep up to 18 hours a day! Me too!"

"Wake up, Jane! There's a giant talking squirrel at the end of your bed!"

The Dangers of Counting Sheep

'These hibernation pills ought to do the trick.'

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

Sleep Clinic. ZZZZZZ. We can tell a lot about somebody's sleep by the sounds they make. This subject is experiencing normal, restful sleep. YYYYYY. He's having fitful sleep because his girlfriend dumped him. MMMMMM. It looks a lot like he's having a dream about a delicious meal. BBBBBB. This gardener is having a nightmare about disturbing a hive. And what's happening here? I think he's look forward to "talk like a pirate day"! RRRRRR.

Insomnia

"I set up the sensors. He sees you when you're sleeping."

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

'How can you sleep at night?'

Anesthetists always get a good nights sleep.

Sleep Disorder Research.

'I think I'm having an out-of-body experience.'

'A cure for insomnia is a good night's sleep.'

Man trying to get to sleep by counting cloned sheep.

'What did you say? You suggested me to COUNT sheep to fall asleep? I thought you told me to EAT sheep...'