Sleep Scientist T-Shirts

The Dangers of Counting Sheep

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

'We lose three hours on this trip. Suppose we'll suffer from wagon lag?'

Changing the dream

"I've got my eyes shut to see what I look like asleep."

Counting sheep, large print edition.

"I'm getting paid to assist sleep research..."

"You just about done there, Buddy? Everyone's getting pretty tired up here."

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"The overthinker"

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

'zzz sleep.'

Center For Sleep Deprivation

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

"We can't wake her, she's sleepwalking."

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

'I'm sleepy all the time.'

'It's the most amazing case of rapid eye movement I've ever seen.'

'These hibernation pills ought to do the trick.'

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

"I set up the sensors. He sees you when you're sleeping."

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

'How can you sleep at night?'

Anesthetists always get a good nights sleep.

'A cure for insomnia is a good night's sleep.'

Sleep Disorder Research.

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

'We're making progress on my insomnia. My foot went to sleep last night.'

Insomniacs Anonymous - No Snoring

'What did you say? You suggested me to COUNT sheep to fall asleep? I thought you told me to EAT sheep...'

'Sounds to me like you're not getting enough REM sleep.'