Sleep Scientist Gifts

The Dangers of Counting Sheep

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

'We lose three hours on this trip. Suppose we'll suffer from wagon lag?'

Changing the dream

"I've got my eyes shut to see what I look like asleep."

Counting sheep, large print edition.

"I'm getting paid to assist sleep research..."

"You just about done there, Buddy? Everyone's getting pretty tired up here."

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"The overthinker"

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

"We can't wake her, she's sleepwalking."

Center For Sleep Deprivation

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

'zzz sleep.'

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

Doctor with Teddy - "Take this. It will help you sleep."

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

'I'm sleepy all the time.'

"On your application, it says you have narcolepsy. What is that?"

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

Sleep Clinic. ZZZZZZ. We can tell a lot about somebody's sleep by the sounds they make. This subject is experiencing normal, restful sleep. YYYYYY. He's having fitful sleep because his girlfriend dumped him. MMMMMM. It looks a lot like he's having a dream about a delicious meal. BBBBBB. This gardener is having a nightmare about disturbing a hive. And what's happening here? I think he's look forward to "talk like a pirate day"! RRRRRR.

'It's the most amazing case of rapid eye movement I've ever seen.'

'These hibernation pills ought to do the trick.'

"Wake up, Jane! There's a giant talking squirrel at the end of your bed!"

"I set up the sensors. He sees you when you're sleeping."

Anesthetists always get a good nights sleep.

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

'How can you sleep at night?'

Sleep Disorder Research.

'I think I'm having an out-of-body experience.'

'A cure for insomnia is a good night's sleep.'