Slumber Scientist T-Shirts

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

The Bookworm

Sleepwalker on treadmill

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

"We can't wake her, she's sleepwalking."

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

Power Nap, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

"I slept funny!"

'All he does is sleep all day but we're dog tired and lazy!'

'Wake up, Mr. Granger, the doctor will see you about your insomnia now.'

'I'm sleepy all the time.'

"I'm getting paid to assist sleep research..."

"On your application, it says you have narcolepsy. What is that?"

"He's in first grade. He'll get to Zs."

'It's the most amazing case of rapid eye movement I've ever seen.'

"When I'm not in school, I have trouble sleeping."

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

The Dangers of Counting Sheep

Anesthetists always get a good nights sleep.

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

"It's a helmet cam. This way I won't miss out on anything if I fall asleep."

Sleep Disorder Research.

Narcolepsy in relationships.

'I got rid of those funny little spots in front of my eyes. Now what's bugging me is a buzzing noise in my ears, like somebody sawing logs.'

"We've got just the thing for someone your age...all our mattresses are made with memory foam."

Man trying to get to sleep by counting cloned sheep.

"I won't be in the office today, my apathy is acting up again."

Zzzzzzzzz...

"Nice try, but learning by osmosis is not a thing."

Circadian rhythms adjusted.

Changing the dream

Man sleeping under the bed.