Slam Dunk Aficionado Gifts

"Just practice half-court shots - all other shots have lost their meaning."

"Dang! Coach's Gran'ma can play rings around me!"

'Verheyen! How many times have I told you? Don't let your personal life affect your play on the court.'

"Good game."

Gary turns 40.

The Salmon Run

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

Novak Djokovic

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

Why moms make bad refs.

Basketball

"I love fast break business success."

I love Basketball.

Encyclopedic Novel Slam.

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

Basketball.

'Hold on, Pepe!... The score is tied with less than a minute to go - and the losing team gets boiled.'

Puppy.

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'This is it, gentlemen. The big game. A date with dentistry.'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

'Billy - no! Do not ask for his autograph. He'll lose his natural fear of fans, become a nuisance, and then he'll need to be tranquilized and relocated to Europe.'

Kobe Bryant

'In this league, guys, it's all about winning. And we're like, what, 0 and 10? That's why coach got the ax.'

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

'Good news, it's not mad cow...it's March madness.'

'I hate playing stinkbugs! Every time we press them on defense, they just let 'e rip!'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"So, next week, if it's okay with our wives, wanna have another playdate?"

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."