Skunk Owner Gifts

"I don't have any test kits, but if you can smell him, you don't have Covid 19"

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Love at First Sight

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

'Not only do we have no natural enemies we have no natural friends.'

The Cat's Alarm Clock

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

"I realize your steak was tough but you didn't have to make such a stink about it."

"I'm here to join the riot squad: you see, I have a natural ability to disperse crowds. . ."

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

The Power of Positive Stinking

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

'She thinks of them as her children...'

Dog bath

"Mum, the school has signed up for a skunk-outreach initiative, but don't worry, it's only a penpal programme. . ."

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

"No offense."

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'

"Skunk! How is it?"

'And you call yourself a hoop snake?'

'No, I DON'T need a hug.'

'He didn't buy us as pets, he bought us as pet-food: He has a snake!'

'Whose bright idea was that gift?'

"Is that a pet skunk?"

'I'd like to return this snake. It's suffering from reptile dysfunction.'

"I had the usual religious upbringing, but then I converted."

Skunk.'Watch it! He's getting ready to spray'

"Mmm, a stinky cheese sandwich!"

Goldie, go fetch the skunk I just shot!

'Wow! It doesn't smell like tomato juice!'

'Don't move,R alph. There's a buck of a lifetime walking out into the open.'

"Best defense against vicious dogs I know."

'Errr, that's OK Lady, I'll take the next one...'

"New around here?"