Skin Canvas Explorer T-Shirts

"Why'd I get into this business? Revenge."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

PROBLEM AREAS

"I made the mistake of telling him that the world is his canvas."

"Pride, Covetousness, Lust, Anger, Gluttony, Envy..."

These colour charts are ridiculous... coal' black, 'midnight' black, 'licquorice black'.' - 'There's too much choice! All I want is plain old boring bl-' - 'Ooooooh... 'panther' black.' -

"Highlight the battleship-gray."

Prozac, Lexapro and Lithium.

'No luggage.'

Crayo-Blah

'Edwin, I hop you'll come home in a good mood. The decorators hung the new wallpaper today.'

'You found another pigment? Hallelujah! I'm so tired of my blue period?'

Dating is so expensive...

Graffiti spraying strictly prohibited!!

'It's more like a very good used you.'

'Please pardon the inconvenience while this web page is under construction.'

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

'Have you ever noticed how much your mole looks like a check engine light?'

Gift Cards In Hell

"And this is what we use for the economy liposuction."

"In your case we’ll begin the facelift with an incision behind your right ear and extend it into the waiting room."

'Botox is one thing, but that's the last time I go to a liposuction party!'

A teacher sits in front of a blackboard that advertises various school subjects as being for sale.

The Hudson Bay School of Art.

Man paints a room using the colour 'battleship grey'.

"I just got back from my plastic surgery consultation. The surgeon is also a football coach in his free time."

"Tightening the buttocks."

Breast Implants: 'Watch this Space.'

Layers of Man

Happy Accidents. . . Call Bob Ross Today

The Artist

"Have you noticed how the eyes seem to follow you round the room?"