Skincare Explorer T-Shirts

Dating is so expensive...

Quite Unanswerable.

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

PROBLEM AREAS

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

Desert Dermatologist

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

Tips on how to reduce those unsightly crow's feet.

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

"How come your skin is sooooo smooth?"

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

'Mildred....is that you?'

"The perfume is only £20, the antidote is £250!"

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

Red in tooth and claw.

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

'I am reluctant to offer plastic surgery at this time, Miss Caterpillar: Why don't you let Nature take its course?'

'These facial wraps work great on dead skin.'

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

Tanning salons to avoid. . .

'It's more like a very good used you.'

Mooseturizer: Tired of those annoying Dry and Chafed antlers?

Anyone seen my curling tongs?

Obstetrics, Gynecology and Waxing.

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"