Skin Canvas Explorer Pillows

"Why'd I get into this business? Revenge."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

PROBLEM AREAS

"I made the mistake of telling him that the world is his canvas."

"Pride, Covetousness, Lust, Anger, Gluttony, Envy..."

'I think you've put that in the wrong place.'

These colour charts are ridiculous... coal' black, 'midnight' black, 'licquorice black'.' - 'There's too much choice! All I want is plain old boring bl-' - 'Ooooooh... 'panther' black.' -

"Highlight the battleship-gray."

Prozac, Lexapro and Lithium.

'No luggage.'

Crayo-Blah

'Edwin, I hop you'll come home in a good mood. The decorators hung the new wallpaper today.'

'You found another pigment? Hallelujah! I'm so tired of my blue period?'

Dating is so expensive...

'It's more like a very good used you.'

Twig! Please come into my bathroom! Have you been using my makeup? You're paranoid! Everything is in its place. Why would you accuse me? Just a hunch.

Graffiti spraying strictly prohibited!!

'Please pardon the inconvenience while this web page is under construction.'

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

'Have you ever noticed how much your mole looks like a check engine light?'

"And this is what we use for the economy liposuction."

Gift Cards In Hell

"After I bought all this stuff, I realized I'm more of a word person."

"In your case we’ll begin the facelift with an incision behind your right ear and extend it into the waiting room."

Hey, who moved my easel?

'Botox is one thing, but that's the last time I go to a liposuction party!'

A teacher sits in front of a blackboard that advertises various school subjects as being for sale.

The Hudson Bay School of Art.

Man paints a room using the colour 'battleship grey'.

Layers of Man

"I just got back from my plastic surgery consultation. The surgeon is also a football coach in his free time."

"Tightening the buttocks."

Breast Implants: 'Watch this Space.'

Happy Accidents. . . Call Bob Ross Today

"Have you noticed how the eyes seem to follow you round the room?"