Skeptical Saints Pillows

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

Punk Reindeer

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

'Never, Ever...believe everything you read.'

"Nihilistic rage motivates me to cling desperately to this job."

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

Man to man re: crackpot's sign that says, 'Your Nutty Idea Here': Everybody's out to make a buck these days.

"Before I give you my answer I just gotta be sure you ain't one of them nasty olee-garks I've been hearing about."

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

"Thank you for not praying."

"Nope! Not that one! They still believe that 'gods' created the universe!"

About Santa 2017.

"Wow! My calculations show that on Christmas night, Santa Claus will visit 1 house every .83 seconds!"

"I guess I can’t prove I exist either."

"I don't believe the liberal weather media!"

"It's unrealistic for us to have a chimney, tree, or stockings, so you can forget about Santa."

'Does that include the fishing rod?'

'I see you reaching into your wallet for a twenty dollar bill.'

"I have a rich and generous son who wants to contribute to the heavenly fund."

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

'Just who the heck are you to decide who's naughty or nice? Quit trying to impose your ideas of morality on everyone else!!'

'He sees me when I'm sleeping, he knows when I'm awake...'

"Well... I don't believe in you either!"