Skeptical Sweetheart Pillows

'You might stand a ghost of a chance, Edmon, if I believed in ghosts,'

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"I love you, you big fool."

"Well, here he is. He just grew on me until I couldn't stand it anymore."

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

Cupid's Valentine

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

"It would never work out- we're from two totally different tiers of the upper middle class."

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

"Nihilistic rage motivates me to cling desperately to this job."

'I've got SO much on my plate right now, Steve - Ask me again when I'm fifty.'

"Just say the word and I'll love you."

"Thank you for not praying."

Man to man re: crackpot's sign that says, 'Your Nutty Idea Here': Everybody's out to make a buck these days.

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

"Before I give you my answer I just gotta be sure you ain't one of them nasty olee-garks I've been hearing about."

"We met on Agnostic Rendezvous."

"Nope! Not that one! They still believe that 'gods' created the universe!"

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

Studies show some foods work miracles/study says studies are a crock.

"I guess I can’t prove I exist either."

'Does that include the fishing rod?'

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

"If I can't be honest with you, Cheryl, who can I pretend to be honest with?"

'I see you reaching into your wallet for a twenty dollar bill.'

"I don't believe the liberal weather media!"

'Legal say that 'Be my Valentine' opens us up to sexual harrassment claims, they suggest 'dear individual of indeterminate or any gender would you consider accepting the role of being my person of special interest'.'