Skeptical Soul Pillows

"Nihilistic rage motivates me to cling desperately to this job."

"I don't believe the liberal weather media!"

"Do you believe in predestination?"

Dubious Charitable Organizations

The Ad said: 'Ask your doctor!' I did and he said it was all crapola.

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

No Immediate Danger

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

"The sky isn't really falling -- I'm just trying to make a living."

The conspiracy behind conspiracy theories.

'Most cases like yours, Mr. Johnson, clear up completely with a healthy dose of skepticism!'

'If this isn't a placebo you gave me, how come it says 'M&M' on it?'

"Thank you for not praying."

"You're not gonna stick that thing in my arm..! Nobody knows what's in it!!"

"My mind is plenty open, Grandma. But not so much that my brain falls out."

"Before I give you my answer I just gotta be sure you ain't one of them nasty olee-garks I've been hearing about."