Skeptical Dater Pillows

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

Life is for the birds.

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

In Desperate Straits.

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'I fu*@!Ng hate you!!!'

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

"To be honest, I'm a little surprised the dating service matched us up."

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

"You can come in. But don't try anything funny."

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

"Bill and I hate the same books."

"You weren't playing hard to get! You were scared of commitment!"

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

Nethead strip: Dates

"So tell me again where you're from."

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

'You must be Olivia.'

"Before I give you my answer I just gotta be sure you ain't one of them nasty olee-garks I've been hearing about."

"Did you notice the smirk on his face when he said 'enjoy'?"

Studies show some foods work miracles/study says studies are a crock.