Cynical Dater Pillows

'That's it, no more blind dates for me.'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"Now remember, if I jump out the window, I want to leave."

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

In Desperate Straits.

Waterfall of Disappointment

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"...He broke your heart, did he? Well, I can't say I didn't see this coming!"

"You can come in. But don't try anything funny."

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

Spud dating.

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

"Of course, your case against him would be a lot stronger if you had made him sign a pre-peccadillo agreement."

"You know as well as I do, love is just another word for offshore investments."

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

'You must be Olivia.'

"So tell me again where you're from."

Valentine's roses $59.99- Feb.15th- $12.99.

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

Nethead strip: Dates