Skeptical Sweetheart Gifts

'You might stand a ghost of a chance, Edmon, if I believed in ghosts,'

"Not one looks like her date's profile pic."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"I love you, you big fool."

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"Well, here he is. He just grew on me until I couldn't stand it anymore."

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

Cupid's Valentine

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"Just say the word and I'll love you."

"Nihilistic rage motivates me to cling desperately to this job."

'I've got SO much on my plate right now, Steve - Ask me again when I'm fifty.'

"I've got buck teeth, an overbite, big ears, pink eye, a harelip, and I live in a hole. She must love me!"

"Can atheists refuse to participate?"

"It would never work out- we're from two totally different tiers of the upper middle class."

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

"Thank you for not praying."

"Nope! Not that one! They still believe that 'gods' created the universe!"

"We met on Agnostic Rendezvous."

"Before I give you my answer I just gotta be sure you ain't one of them nasty olee-garks I've been hearing about."

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

Man to man re: crackpot's sign that says, 'Your Nutty Idea Here': Everybody's out to make a buck these days.

You know, I'll always think of the song that's on the Juke box right now as

Studies show some foods work miracles/study says studies are a crock.

'Does that include the fishing rod?'

"If I can't be honest with you, Cheryl, who can I pretend to be honest with?"

"I guess I can’t prove I exist either."

"I don't believe the liberal weather media!"

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'