Skeptical Voices Pillows

"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

The conspiracy behind conspiracy theories.

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

"Nihilistic rage motivates me to cling desperately to this job."

"The sky isn't really falling -- I'm just trying to make a living."

'Never, Ever...believe everything you read.'

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

"This 'birds and bees' stuff,' Dad - Has it been fact-checked?"

'If this isn't a placebo you gave me, how come it says 'M&M' on it?'

"Thank you for not praying."

Man to man re: crackpot's sign that says, 'Your Nutty Idea Here': Everybody's out to make a buck these days.

"My mind is plenty open, Grandma. But not so much that my brain falls out."

'I'm preparing a speech to refute 'intelligent design,' and I'd like you to be an exhibit.'

I believe their products are rubbish.

'What's going on here? What you see is what I get, and what I see is what you get.'

"Nope! Not that one! They still believe that 'gods' created the universe!"