Skeptical Thinkers Pillows

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

'As if I ever believed in that story about the man and the woman.'

"Just phone Mr.Fry and tell him the claim's been rejectedbecause the damage was deemed an 'Act of God'."

"Only religious people kill witches because only religious people are stupid enough to believe in witches."

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

"Yesterday, militant atheists killed moderate atheists for not being atheist enough."

"So you once parted the Red Sea, what have you done lately?"

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

"We fell for this last time remember..."

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"After the election everything will be perfect and I will be able to fly."

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

'OK, now you've seen it...'

"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."

'Don't believe everything you read.'

'A Federally-funded study released today proves conclusively that taxes are good for the economy....'

The conspiracy behind conspiracy theories.