Skeptical Patient Gifts

'Okee-dokey... Let's just see how your diagnosis and treatment plan compare to what webMD.com has to say...'

"Are you sure that's a good drug?"

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

"This is the patient, doctor..."

"And where exactly is 'Tooth Fairy U'?"

"I want a third opinion."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

Stock market investment advice

'Who wants to be examined first?'

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

Down on Her.

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

"The sky isn't really falling -- I'm just trying to make a living."

"Can atheists refuse to participate?"