Skeptical Job Seeker Gifts

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

How are you at decision making?

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Do you have any other skills?

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

In and Out Sourced.

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

Between Offices

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"I don't like your application."

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.