Quirky Jobseeker Gifts

"And how would your degree in 'Bohemian Lifestyle Studies' benefit the company?"

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

'We like to find just the right slot for our people.'

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

Urine Catcher

'...we are looking for someone with great interpersonal communication skills.'

'My resume,...in rap form!'

"We do price loyalty, but we were also rather hoping for a candidate who could read right and walk on two legs."

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

"Any other skills?"

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

"I work well independently. I usually correct all the problems I create."

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"

'So far, so good -- I got a second interview!'

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

'Do you have any other references besides your mom and Santa Claus?'

'I can assure you Mr. Rumplestilkskin, weaving straw into gold is a skill we can certainly use...'

"You cleaned out your desk so efficiently you've been rehired and placed in charge of Housekeeping."

"That's great that you're on 8 different social media sites, but how are you at bank reconciliations, accounts payable, and working?"

"It pains me to do this, but you're hired."

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

'...No it's Malcom from ***** after someone with autocad experience in elecro-mechanical design.'

"Naps. Do you have anything in naps?"

'I love your 'never-say-never' attitude, but we never hired you.'