Skeptical Seeker Gifts

"I guess I can’t prove I exist either."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"Nihilistic customer service"

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"We fell for this last time remember..."

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"That? Oh, it's last year's calendar."

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

"The sky isn't really falling -- I'm just trying to make a living."

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

The conspiracy behind conspiracy theories.

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

"Nihilistic rage motivates me to cling desperately to this job."

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

Michel de Montaigne

'If this isn't a placebo you gave me, how come it says 'M&M' on it?'

'Our relationship isn't easy when she's always bringing up my past!'

'That's funny, I'd have sworn you were a medium.'

'Oh Wise One, I have but one question... why are we here?'