Skeptical Entrepreneur Gifts

'I should've known it sounded too good to be true!'

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

Stock market investment advice

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

We have an all volunteer workforce, and we're still losing money!

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

"Baseball is boring."

The conspiracy behind conspiracy theories.

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

"I'm hoping to sell my startup - a chain of fast-food meditation centers - to Google for seven figures."

'It's scoundrel time . . . '

"The sky isn't really falling -- I'm just trying to make a living."

"So that's my presentation: Could I have 100 million for the startup?"

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

'If this isn't a placebo you gave me, how come it says 'M&M' on it?'

"You're not gonna stick that thing in my arm..! Nobody knows what's in it!!"

'Do you realize, this is a land of opportunity?' - 'Yes, anyone can become a tax payer.'

"My mind is plenty open, Grandma. But not so much that my brain falls out."

Monitoring the Air Quality

I believe their products are rubbish.

'What's going on here? What you see is what I get, and what I see is what you get.'

'It's not a Ponzi scheme. It's a Ponzi FUND.'

"Why does your all-knowing, all-powerful god need marketing?"

'George, are you SURE this is the seminar we signed up for? I haven't heard a single word about managing cash flow in a small business!'

"OK, just between you and me: The free will thing? What was your angle in all that?"

'Ultimately, no good can come of this.'